When I think back on what I've done the past month, I can pinpoint lots of exciting events I went to, lots of incredible people I've met and befriended, lots of hours spent reading blogs and watching new televisions shows, and quality time bonding with the people in my life. But strangely, I don't seem to have produced much.
I'm just not spending much time sitting down at a desk and doing work (beyond this blog). Perhaps I'll spend an hour a day doing some of the small assignments for class, but I had two midterms this week, and I was not lacking sleep, not studying that much, and not even feeling stressed. This is frankly not the old Erika, and now I'm a bit worried that I'm not worried all the time. My friend contributes this to the fact that I'm not around crazy pre-meds all the time anymore; someone else says it's because I'm part of all these extracurriculars now; even another says that perhaps it because my classes are just easier this semester than in semesters past.
In an attempt to boost my productivity, I've self-controlled all social media on my computer for days at a time. But I have a phone which happens to have all of those social media sites... And I've just been a social butterfly anyways, talking with anyone and everyone.
I'm in uncharted territory now, trying to understand this lack of effort. Perhaps it's a motivation problem and I'm just using socializing as an evasive tactic? But if it were, I'd feel pressured to do the work, and I just don't feel pressured.
I'm productive in other areas of my life - working out, the blog, the blogging community. But the classes have been put on the back burner. I need a kickstart; something is lacking, and it sure as hell needs to be found.
E
